Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Fitting shoes.

Each one of us has our unique way of dealing with our life situations.  Others may guide us and suggest the way that should be taken to meet our challenges but in the end it is us who have the first hand experience. 
So often we hear people say that no one can ever understand their condition because they have not been into the same situation or we hear them say that people will understand them only when they step into their shoes. But even this is not something which can make anyone understand others' pain. Stepping into someone's shoes can take place but the shoes won't fit them as best as they fit the owner! This is being taken a bit too literally. The point is that even if the other person goes through the same trials in life he won't react to them in the same manner as that person. Every person has his uniqueness which has differences of personality, behaviour, experiences, life situations, feelings, outlook toward life, emotional intelligence and much more. 
No person can claim to fully understand the other person's challenge, his pain or trouble which is bothering him. 
We do sympathise with others and tell them how we share their pain and sorrow and we console them saying that we are with them in their loss. We use phrases like 'we can understand what you are going through'or 'we know how it feels'. These words and phrases are truly comforting but they are not completely true as the sufferer knows his own suffering better than anyone. 
Suppose we meet a recently divorced woman, or an orphaned child, or parents who have lost their child, we can console them and sympathise with them but we can not really feel their pain as they themselves feel.
Some months back when there were news of the war torn cities we saw such heart rending pictures of dead citizens, children and women drenched in blood and totally destroyed houses and schools. Can we say that we can understand and feel what the inhabitants of that city went through? Can we feel their pain as they did? Did we hear the sound of guns and bombs just nearby and did we experience that terror in our hearts when someone felt death just round the corner? No. 
We can only feel sad for them. If we have a sensitive heart and mind we can feel bad for them and it can affect us in a way that makes us thoughtful and ready to take action to help them in the best possible manner. When we see others in pain we can not feel the pain as they do but it does affect us and this drives us to say comforting words to them, to console them and to help them out of their plight. 
The least a person can do for relieving others of their sorrows is to pray for them with a sincere heart. 
A heart full of love and empathy for others is the heart which drives others to reach out to them.  
We as sensitive human beings should realize that each person is fighting his own struggle. Each person is wearing his own shoes which fit him best. We should be thankful to what we have and what we can contribute to help others. The words that we utter should have the spirit and meaning so that we are truly able to bring comfort into the lives of those who are going through tough times. 

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