Saturday, February 14, 2015

Respect for Women

There's one whole chapter dedicated to women with the title "the Women" (Chapter 4) in the Noble Quran. Apart from that a whole Chapter is named after Mary, the mother of Jesus peace and blessings of Allah be upon them both (Chapter 19). Also throughout the Quran in various places Allah tells us about being kind to parents, especially the mothers as they bore us with pain upon pain. 

Allah tells the believing men to take care of their wives and treat them with kindness, generosity and justice. 

Some verses of the Quran were revealed in defense of the mother of the believers Ayisha may Allah be pleased with her ( Chapter 24) and in clarifying a matter related to another woman who wanted to have a divorce with her husband (Chapter 58). 

Allah describes the distribution of inheritance at length in Chapter 4 An Nisa (the women) and commands the believers to give each person his or her due share (Verses 11 and 12).

As concerning the dower (Mahr) of the women, Allah says:

"And give the women (on marriage) their dower as an obligation; but if they, of their own good pleasure, remit any part of it to you, take it and enjoy it with right and good cheer." Chapter 4 verse 4

In unfortunate circumstances when the marriage becomes too difficult to carry forward for a woman Allah has allowed her to seek some settlement.
In Chapter 4, verse 28, it reads:

"If a wife fears cruelty or desertion on her husband's part, there is no blame on them if they arrange an amicable settlement between themselves; And such settlement is best; Even though men's souls are swayed by greed. But if ye do good and practise self restraint, Allah is well acquainted with all that ye do."

Allah is the Judge and His decisions are based on Justice. He likes His slaves to do justice to themselves as well as others. Through His Speech in the form of the Noble Quran He has commanded the believers to be the upholders of Justice at every point in life. He commands His Messenger Muhammad peace and blessings be upon him to 

Say: "My Lord hath commanded Justice; and that ye set your whole selves to Him at every time and place of prayer and call upon Him making your devotion sincere such as He created you in the beginning so shall ye return." 

This command comes in Chapter 7 Al Aaraaf (the heights) in verse 29.

If one goes through the Quran and understands its meanings then it will not be difficult to know how Allah has touched upon each matter related to women and clarified the course of action by those who deal with women whether they are parents, children, husbands, guardians, people in the society, judges, other women and the women themselves.

A good son respects his mother and reveres her to fulfill his obligation and duty as a son and most importantly to fulfill the command of his Creator. 

A good husband treats his wife with love, kindness, care and respect and gives importance to her likes and dislikes and feelings. He is not harsh on her and treats her as his own part. He fulfills his duty as a good husband and does not make his wife feel as if she is just the maid in the house. He encourages her to seek knowledge and grow her skills and creativity as an individual.

A good man who is part of the society treats, even those women who are unrelated to him, with utmost respect and does not trespass their boundaries of modesty. He considers them like his sisters who also move about in the society and want an environment of safety and freedom to go out in the world to seek knowledge and to contribute in the buiding of a healthy and prosperous society. 

When the women in the society will be treated well the society will become a better place for all. 

Sunday, February 8, 2015

Be a blessing!

All of us want good friends, good colleagues, good neighbours, good spouses, well-behaving and obedient children and good acquaintances. We want to be in touch with people who don't pester us, irritate us, cause us trouble or harm us. We want understanding friends, kind neighbours, adjusting colleagues and reliable acquaintances. 
All this is natural. Each one of us wants to live in peace therefore we normally hear people saying, 'live and let live'. But little do we realize that we have a major role to play in this regard. We know that despite of our being good some people still do not behave well but that does not stop us from being our best.
We must never let unjustified victimization shatter us not let the aggressor have his or her way but there are some cool ways to keep all this at bay if we try.
It is allowed to teach a lesson to those who trouble you constantly but there are other ways to tackle such ignorant and troublesome people. 
If possible do not let the ignorance of others pave the way for you being ignorant and misbehaving. It is much better and dignified to ignore such people in silence. Falling into an argument and then into a fight only stresses our nerves and eventually we might see no change in that person. Arguing mostly leads to nasty exchange of words and igniting the fire of hatred and animosity. Arguing with such ignorant and senseless people only increases our stress and we reach nowhere in our effort to make things better.
When all the people out there are hell bent on causing trouble, victimizing, terrorizing, irritating or discouraging you or others, all you need to do is to be a blessing for all! 
Be a blessing by not contributing in the hateful arguments, ignorant rantings, foolish and baseless justifications, proving your point and demeaning others. 

Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, "I guarantee a house in Jannah for one who gives up arguing, even if he is in the right; and I guarantee a home in the middle of Jannah for one who abandons lying even for the sake of fun; and I guarantee a house in the highest part of Jannah for one who has good manners."    [Abu Dawud].

The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, "A true believer is not involved in taunting, or frequently cursing (others) or in indecency or abusing."

Instead of falling into useless talks that waste our time and energy let us contribute to the peace and harmony that is still there because of such people who, by the Will of God, ignore, forgive, forget and forbear the nonsense of the ignorant people.

The first useful weapon is nothing but silence. You must not react at the first instance of provocation by someone.
I always believe that sometimes keeping out of the scene is rewarding, avoiding the limelight is satisfying and not trying to win all the arguments, the best for ourselves and the whole environment.
Today, many of us believe that we must answer others and teach them a lesson. This is okay, but letting go is sometimes the best way to teach them a lesson. Sometimes people just try to cause trouble to you because of reasons that vary-it might be their nature, upbringing, attention-seeking behaviour, jealousy, hatred, prejudice etc. 
Be intelligent, wise and cool. Be forgiving and patient. This way it will be easier for you to 
and earn a heavy reward both in this world and the Hereafter. The reward in this world will be the peace and satisfaction that you will feel and the reward of Hereafter is promised by God for those who forgive and let go. 

Who spend [in the cause of Allah ] during ease and hardship and who restrain anger and who pardon the people - and Allah loves the doers of good; Surah Al e Imran 134

The Return Journey

Yesterday I was invited at a friend’s place to a dars (a talk that involves remembering Allah and giving good advice to the audience). H...